During my teenage years, I did not think of becoming a parent, neither did I know how it felt to have someone call you ‘mum’ each and every day. However, as we all know, teenage years are the time when youths decide to explore on various issues such as indulging in relationships with the opposite sex, drinking and partying around. Everything seemed normal until I joined college to pursue my dream career. I convinced myself that, if I ever got into a relationship, I would never want to put an end to it till it amounted to something mutual and lead to marriage.
However, campus life was not as easy as one would define. Each day was a holiday where we would have parties in the tennis court, the basketball court, and the school pool. Nevertheless, I adapted to such a life and found it normal till reality dawned on my face. As usual I met with good looking young men who seemed interested in me. Also, I had to make a decision of who I felt would suit me. Fortunately or unfortunately, one man caught my eyes and with no time, the feeling was mutual and led to a relationship. It felt good being in the girls’ groupies talking about our relationships with our men, the bad times, the good times, the sex-life and every other bit of the relationship.
Also, I would reflect back and think about my family, how my relatives mocked me forever being single in high school and my geek look. But here I was; happy in a good relationship with a man whom I was convinced truly loved me. However, things were all good until one morning when I felt something was not right. I visited the school dispensary, and the next thing knew, I was pregnant with my boyfriend’s child. The biggest nightmare of my life had hit my reality. However, with the convinced mind that my boyfriend truly loved me, I decided to break the news to him. No sooner had I told him that the relationship ended. I was left stranded alone and had to bear my burden.
To cut the long story short, I gave birth to my son on the 8th of April 1991. Being a single mother, I felt the parental love grow in me each and every day seeing that, my only hope of gaining respect amongst a family full of mockery was finally with me. Well I know it is not any gracious glory to have a child on campus and bring him up on your own, but nothing could be done; he was right here with me and made me a proud mother.
However, bringing up my son in a family that felt I did the wrong thing was not an easy task. Sometimes my father would mock me saying that he wished that he would have invested the money in a different venture, rather than on someone who would become a mother at 23. Nevertheless, the mockery felt as an encouragement hence gave me much love to my son such that I could not let anything happen to him. Also, I had to bring him and prove to the world that I would be the best mother ever at ma age.
However, being a mother, I had to understand the growth of my son, monitor the behavior of my son, social behavior and attributes that a boy acquires as he grows up. To enhance the behavior monitor, I had to practice self-observation such that I would understand how to handle my son. Self-observation involved true self-examination such that I would understand how I related to my son, how I enhanced the behavior of my son and how I treated my son as a mother.
To elaborate further on self-observations; it is the self-examination through the various human attributes. The first attribute is concerned with the one’s intellectual behavior such as anger, love, lust and hate (Simon, 2003). As I mother, I had to examine myself such that, I could be in a position to understand whether I was truly loyal to my son or I was mean. Sometimes, my son would take advantage of my love and misbehave. However, as a loving mother who truly loved my son, I had to correct him such that next time he would understand the difference between good and evil. I remember some years back when my son bit and insulted a neighbor’s boy for stepping on his toes unintentionally. However, the love relationship between my son and me was mutual that; he came home and told me to escort him to the boy’s home and apologize.
The second self-observation involved the second human attribute that was the emotional center. The emotional behavior involved various attributes such as anger, anguish and envy (Mishra, 2008) As a mother, I had to ensure that I maintained positive emotions towards my son and how I carried myself when around my son. Sometimes, life would get so bad that all I opted to do was cry in pain. However, for the love I had for my son, I could never let him see me cry since that would affect his emotions. Well, sometimes I would get angry at him but due to the love we shared, he made sure that he neither made me angry nor annoyed me.
Also, I had to examine my instinctive self-such that I would have a clear understanding of how I viewed my son (Mario & Ruben, 2012). Sometimes I would look at my son and tell something was not alright. Being close to my son and the parental love we shared, I had learned to understand each and every move he made whenever around me and when he left the house. Also, my instincts would tell me when he was up for trouble, when he was lying to me and when he was angry at something or someone. However, due to the love we shared, I ensured that my instincts did not go above limit to an extent of disturbing his instincts too. Rather, I had to come up with a way to address him as my only son, with love and tenderness hence being open with me and we solved the various problems he was going through.
The bottom-line of the story is, the self-observation was the major factor that created an understanding between my son and me. I loved him and still love to date now that he is a grown man, and each time he want to share anything with me, he feels comfortable to approach me, and we talk things out.
